The Experience of a Former Perfectionist

To understand what it means to be a perfectionist, we need a definition.

Perfectionism is defined as the pursuit of unrealistically high goals, combined with a strong sense of self-deprecation when mistakes are made. Previous studies show that perfectionism is linked to a variety of mental disorders.

But what does perfectionism mean for the person living this "lifestyle"? Well, first of all, not all perfectionists realize they have this problem. Generally, it starts off healthy, with important goals in life, but once the goals become unrealistic, we need to step back. The step back is often forgotten. This is where we get to perfectionism. I want you to understand that I’m not just talking about situations like an exam. I’m talking about the everyday life. Often, perfectionists yearn for a single, perfect path. Essentially, perfectionists want everything to be perfect. Logical, right? But to make everything perfect, it takes a lot of energy; it’s exhausting. People with this tendency often don’t realize how tiring this "perfect thing" can be.

Let me tell you about my experience with perfectionism. As long as I can remember, I’ve done everything perfectly: I don’t show up late, I don’t miss anything, I don’t leave earlier than I should, I do all my tasks perfectly. But I often forget who I am, I forget that I should take a little break and not despise myself if I make mistakes, I forget that nothing is perfect, I forget that making mistakes is natural. I get lost in trying to make everything perfect. For years, I had nothing but excellent grades. But after a while, I realize how fake this life is. It’s like I’m falling out of an airplane, and everything becomes so clear. The daily headaches make sense, the lack of honest people makes sense. Everything falls into place when I stop fighting to make everything perfect, and things begin to flow naturally.

I don’t want you to misunderstand me, I realize now that all my life I’ve been chasing something that doesn’t exist the way I want it. There is no perfect world. No matter how much we struggle, no matter how perfect we are, there is no perfect world; we all make mistakes. It doesn’t matter if the mugs are aligned in a row, with the handles facing the same direction. It doesn’t matter if I did everything as quickly as I could, to be perfect. We live in a world where even the world changes, not just the people on it.

I’ve suffered a lot from perfectionism. Not only did I lose happiness in my life, but I also lost the acceptance of making mistakes. Before assignments, I wouldn’t sleep at night to study and get perfect grades. And yes, it worked, but now, to be honest, I no longer have the energy to stay up all night. I don’t want to live life at that pace anymore, which means a "stop." Through therapy, I realized that it is completely normal to make mistakes, and not only that, it’s actually desired. Logically, we shouldn’t all make the same mistakes, but we should take something valuable from the mistakes we make.

Back to perfectionism. It’s hard to break free from the cycle of making everything perfect. But, at many times, it’s easier to not need everything to be perfect. I’m speaking from experience.

Mistakes should be seen as helpers. Straying from the path allows us to see what is around us. They show us that not everything can be perfect. We deviate from the path so we can see beautiful things, learn something new, and understand something that our subconscious already knows. Every mistake that appears in our life is meant to show us something. Therefore, it is important to make them to move forward and grow. They shouldn’t be seen as something bad, but rather as something good.

The message I want to convey is that no matter how “non-perfect” a situation may seem, in the end, you will make it through. If you want to get rid of perfectionism, it’s important to know and understand that there are professionals who can help you. You are not alone.

So, if you take away one thing: It doesn’t matter if you’re perfect or not. If you want to change, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to be.

Karla M.C.

What Writing Means to Me

Writing can be just as important as going to the gym for the brain. Writing is essential for me; I’ve learned to write about what I think because it’s the method that works best for me. Writing is the best way to clear my mind. It’s fascinating how big an impact writing has on the brain.

To be able to write, it’s important not to wear a mask; you must be authentic. It’s interesting that when you write authentically, you create a wonderful effect. Writing is a way we can find answers to the questions our mind asks. As someone who has struggled with repetitive thoughts, I can say that writing is a very good solution to stop thinking constantly about everything. Writing is a mechanism through which we can release stress. Once everything is written down, we no longer feel the need to think about the same thing over and over.

For me, it’s like telling everything to the paper, and it carries it forward. I can think further. At first, I wrote a text as I would speak, I wrote as if the paper would respond. Then I began explaining the situation as if in a documentary, as if someone were listening. Now, I write short ideas for all my thoughts, to leave them on the page but not to take too much time.

But the initial thought behind everything is to ask "why?". It’s about being aware of what’s happening.

Accepting Mistakes

You wake up one morning and you no longer have the strength to get up, you feel like no matter how much energy you put into what you do, nothing gets done. You realize that, in trying to do everything perfectly, you can no longer do anything. You realize that you’ve always tried to do everything perfectly. You’ve avoided mistakes as much as possible. You didn’t make mistakes. And then, all of a sudden, you made a huge mistake, a mistake that you can’t change anymore. You made a mistake, and at first, you were terrified and 100% sure you would never make mistakes again. I reached that point. And at that moment, I realized that from any mistake, you can learn. I learned that there is no “perfect.” Because in my life, I was constantly chasing perfectionism. Mistakes are so important, they’re like a detour that allows you to see what’s around you. A mistake can show you how much you can do, where your limits are. A mistake is like a key to the lock of consciousness. It’s hard to accept that we make mistakes, and that some of them cannot be undone. But acceptance is a long process. And what is clear is that we should all make our own mistakes because not everyone has to learn the same lessons. Just as each person is individual, so too are the lessons they need to go through. We should understand that, in most cases, a mistake cannot outweigh two good decisions. It’s beautiful to see how a person changes when they accept this.

Panic Attacks

To truly understand the phenomenon of a panic attack, it is essential to start with a clear definition. Panic attacks are sudden episodes of intense anxiety that trigger strong and often overwhelming physical reactions, even when there is no real danger or when the perceived danger is much smaller than our body’s response. These episodes are accompanied by physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, quick breathing, a feeling of suffocation, excessive sweating, shaking, dizziness, or even the fear of dying or going insane. Panic attacks can occur unexpectedly or be triggered by certain situations, places, or thoughts. Although they can be extremely distressing and leave a person feeling hopeless, they are usually temporary and do not indicate any real danger. Panic attacks are common and can occur at any age, though they are more often seen from late adolescence to early adulthood. Although many people consider these episodes to be a manifestation of weakness, it is important to understand that there is nothing shameful in experiencing a panic attack. They are not a sign of weakness but rather a signal from our body that there is an inner imbalance that requires attention.

Fear

Fear is one of the oldest and most powerful emotions we experience as human beings. Throughout history, fear has played an important role in our survival, protecting us from dangers and external threats. However, in the modern world, fear can take on much more subtle and complex forms, which are no longer related to immediate dangers but can significantly influence the way we live. Fear can have a considerable impact on our lives, but at the same time, it can become an opportunity for personal growth. It is essential to learn how to face and control it, rather than letting it control us.

Fear can appear in many forms. It may be a fear of failure, rejection, not being good enough, or even the fear of the unknown. Most of the time, fear paralyzes us, makes us doubt ourselves, and causes us to avoid situations that could bring positive change to our lives. For example, when we want to make an important change in our career or personal life, the fear of the unknown or of failure may stop us before we even try. This can block our potential and prevent us from living life to the fullest.

However, fear should not always be seen as an enemy. In fact, when we learn to manage it properly, fear can become a source of motivation and personal growth. Fear can show us what we truly desire and what stands in the way of our development. It can be a signal that we need to step out of our comfort zone and face the challenges that will help us become stronger and more confident in our own abilities.

A crucial first step in confronting fear is to understand why we are afraid. Most of the time, our fears are unjustified or exaggerate the real dangers. Our mind can create catastrophic scenarios about what might happen if we do something, but in reality, the risks are often much smaller than we imagine. For example, the fear of public speaking may seem overwhelming, but once we begin speaking, we realize that we are not judged as harshly as we imagined. This is true for many other fears – they often appear bigger in our minds than they actually are.

Fear can also result from a negative self-perception. The fear of being rejected or not being good enough may stem from a harsh self-evaluation. Often, we compare ourselves to others and feel that we are not as capable or confident, which creates the fear of not meeting expectations. In such cases, it is essential to work on our self-esteem and understand that there is no universal measure for success or happiness.

To confront fear, it is important to break it down into small steps. We don’t have to try to overcome a huge, impossible fear all at once. For example, instead of forcing ourselves to give a speech in front of a large audience, we can start by speaking in front of a small group or recording a speech to listen to later. These small steps allow us to gradually adjust to the situation that causes us fear and build confidence in our abilities.

Another important aspect in facing fear is changing the way we think about it. Instead of seeing it as an insurmountable obstacle, we can view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Fear can offer us a lesson about who we truly are and what we are capable of achieving. It is a sign that we are about to step out of our comfort zone and make significant progress in our lives.

When we face our fears and manage to overcome them, we feel immense satisfaction and a sense of pride. Even though the process may be difficult and uncomfortable, in the end, we realize that we were able to confront those things that frightened us and that we became stronger as a result of the experience. In fact, each fear we face adds a new layer of confidence in ourselves and our abilities. This confidence becomes an inner strength that will help us face other challenges that will arise in our lives.

In conclusion, fear is a part of human nature, but we must not let it control our lives. We must learn to face it, break it down into small steps, and change our perspective on it. Fear is not an enemy to be feared, but an opportunity to learn and grow. Every time we face and overcome it, we feel profound satisfaction and strengthen our confidence in ourselves. Just as a muscle becomes stronger through exercise, we become stronger by confronting and overcoming our fears.

Stress

Stress is an omnipresent phenomenon in modern society that affects many people. It can come from various sources, such as professional demands, personal relationships, or financial worries. While stress can be useful in certain situations to motivate us and improve our performance, chronic stress can have serious effects on our health. In this text, I will address the impact of stress on our health, the dangers of long-term stress, and the importance of prevention.

First of all, it is important to understand what stress is. Stress is the physical and emotional response of the body to challenges or threats. This response can be both physical and psychological. When we are stressed, our body releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, which put us in a state of alert. In the short term, this can be useful because it allows us to respond quickly to danger. However, in the long term, an excess of stress can lead to a series of health problems.

One of the most common consequences of chronic stress is the weakening of the immune system. Studies have shown that people who suffer from constant stress are more susceptible to infections and illnesses. This is because stress hormones can affect the functioning of immune cells and increase the inflammatory response in the body. A weakened immune system makes it harder to defend against diseases, which can lead to more frequent colds, flu, and other infections.

In addition, chronic stress can lead to serious mental health issues. Depression and anxiety disorders are often companions of prolonged stress. People who suffer from stress may have difficulty concentrating, making decisions, and regulating their emotions. This can create a vicious cycle in which stress worsens mental health, and poor mental health increases stress levels. It is important to take these symptoms seriously and seek help in a timely manner.

Another area that is significantly affected by stress is cardiovascular health. Chronic stress can lead to high blood pressure, heart rhythm disorders, and an increased risk of heart disease. The body responds to stress by activating the cardiovascular system, which leads to an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. Over long periods of time, this can lead to serious cardiovascular problems. Regular physical exercise, a healthy diet, and stress management techniques are essential for reducing the risk of heart disease.

In addition to physical and mental health problems, stress can also influence people’s behaviors. Stress can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overeating, alcohol consumption, or substance abuse. These behaviors can lead to other health problems and increase stress levels. It is important to find healthy ways to cope with stress, such as exercising, meditating, or talking with friends and family.

Preventing stress is crucial for maintaining health and well-being. There are various strategies people can apply to reduce stress. One of the most effective methods is regular physical activity. Exercise not only helps maintain good physical condition, but it also releases endorphins, which act as natural stimulants for well-being. Even 30 minutes of movement per day can make a significant difference in stress levels.

In addition, it is important to maintain healthy relationships. Social support can play an important role in managing stress. People who have close friends or family members with whom they can talk are often better able to cope with stress. Sharing feelings and experiences can help reduce emotional pressure and provide new perspectives.

Relaxation techniques, such as meditation, yoga, or breathing exercises, can also be very helpful. These practices promote mindfulness and help calm the mind. They can contribute to regulating physical and emotional responses to stress and promote a sense of inner peace.

In conclusion, stress can have a significant impact on our health. The dangers of chronic stress are varied and include both physical conditions and mental health issues. Therefore, it is essential to recognize stress and take proactive measures to prevent it. By adopting healthy lifestyle habits, seeking social support, and using relaxation techniques, we can increase our resilience to stress and build a healthy lifestyle.